


We're all a little bit of a work in progress [paused]

by meepmi



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, How Do I Tag, My First Fanfic, Oops, Platonic Soulmates, SBI family exists, Sleepyboisinc - Freeform, Suicide, Tubbo is also depressed, but he been depressed, they are friends your honor, tommy and tubbo are really good friends, tommy is depressed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-12 18:20:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 17
Words: 13,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28764687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meepmi/pseuds/meepmi
Summary: Tommy has enough of this. He's tired. He misses Tubbo. And Dream won't stop being a prick.
Relationships: Technoblade & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, Toby Smith | Tubbo & Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit & Phil Watson
Kudos: 20





	1. Intro

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first work ever so any and all constructive criticism would be nice :) The title is actually a WIP, but uh i ended up actually liking the name being Work is Progress so whoop de do. 
> 
> A little thing! Dont send to ccs! Respect the fact that i personally dont want them seeing this, even if there arent any ships in here (other than platonic), i dont want them to feel awkward. Thank you!

He wanted to forget. He wanted to forget everything that happened. He can still feel the burning of the lava as it first hit him. The shock of cold as his nervous system shut down. He remembers everything.

Tommy remembers every moment that led up to his death. He remembers the sick twist of fate which led to his demise. He remembers winning and losing battles. Winning and losing friends. He remembers it all. So he is a little different from Ghostbur. The worst thing, he remembers Tubbo’s face when he threw himself in the lava.

He had just finished putting some things in his bunker under the house. Originally it was for stuff to take over L’Manburg with, but eventually he realized that was past his life. He started putting his special possessions in the chests. Pictures of him with Tubbo, and some other things that made him happy. He would keep filling those chests with stuff, so that Tubbo could have it once he inevitably died.


	2. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy had never liked exile. But, he did enjoy his friend Dream coming around. Or was Dream even really a friend?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little thing! Dont send to ccs! Respect the fact that i personally dont want them seeing this, even if there arent any ships in here (other than platonic), i dont want them to feel awkward. Thank you!

He never really meant for this to happen, but as per usual nothing goes right. As Dream started digging a hole to blow up his armor, Tommy made this armor special because he had forgotten to make it yesterday, Dream found his bunker. It wasn’t meant to happen. Tommy only wanted Tubbo to find it. But Dream slipped into the small hole and opened the chests. And Tommy had never been more scared.

“I’m so sorry Dream!” Tommy quickly rushed out, knowing that Dream would be mad.

“Tommy.. what is this?” Dream asked in a condescending tone.

“I..uh..I..I’m so sorry Dream.” Tommy stuttered.

“Tommy, I thought we were working this out. What the hell? I thought we were starting to trust each other?” Dream said in a sad voice.

“I..uh..I,” Tommy couldn’t just tell Dream he knew he was gonna die. He couldn’t tell him it was all for Tubbo.

Dream started placing TNT around, ”Move Tommy.”

“Please, Dream please, don’t..” Tommy had never been one for begging, but he didn’t want everything he had saved for Tubbo to go.

“I said MOVE Tommy.”

“I..okay.” Tommy let out loosely. Tommy grabbed the pictures of him and Tubbo before Dream lit the match.

BOOM, and everything was gone. Tommy felt the tears build up but pushed them down. He didn’t want Dream to see. Dream crawled out the hole and up to the surface, he didn’t bother helping Tommy.  
Dream walked over to Tommy’s tent.

“Dream please, not Tnret!” Tommy pleaded. Dream laughed silently at the stupid name Tommy had given the tent. He smiled sadistically before throwing a lit stick of TNT and backing away from the tent. BOOM, and there goes Tommy’s only home. His ender chest went with the tent. Tommy was glad that that morning he had grabbed his compass to have a moment alone with his compass that pointed to Tubbo. Dream moved to the nether portal.

“Wait, Dream, please leave the nether portal! I promise I won’t go back, I..just..I please,” Tommy didn’t know what to say, so he did what Dream would like to hear, beg.

“Alright Tommy, I’ll leave the portal, BUT if I see you enter into L’Manburg or the Dream SMP territory I will not hesitate to slit your throat.” Dream said, in a tone like he was scolding a younger sibling. Tommy let out a sigh. He may have been cut off from seeing everyone, but he could still contact them.

“I’m sorry Dream.” Tommy said again.

“It’s not okay Tommy. I expected more out of you. I’m very disappointed in you, Tommy.” Dream said seriously.

“Goodbye Tommy. Next time I see you I want you to listen to me.”

“Okay, bye Dream,” Tommy said in a small voice. He felt the tears in his eyes, he couldn’t stop them this time. Dream either didn’t see them or chose to ignore the tears as he stepped into the portal.

His decision was clear, today was the day. After today there would be no more Tommy.


	3. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little thing! Dont send to ccs! Respect the fact that i personally dont want them seeing this, even if there arent any ships in here (other than platonic), i dont want them to feel awkward. Thank you!

Tommy didn’t want to die. No one really wants to die. He was sitting on the beach soaking up the last bit of sun he would have before he became a ghost. The one thing Dream couldn’t take away was his communication tablet. Everyone had one. It’s not an actual thing others can see. Sometimes it's funny, watching someone type away at the air in front of them. Tommy chuckled at the memories of seeing Dream type away at the air for the first time.  
This time, however, typing the message to Tubbo wouldn’t be fun. As Tommy writes his final goodbye to Tubbo on the beach, he thinks of all the good times they’ve had. He thinks about the times when he first met Tubbo as a child. He remembers the first war they were in, the second. He remembers the moment they found a bunch of bees in a flower field. Tubbo had said he wanted to live there forever and Tommy couldn’t agree less. He would live there with his best friend forever if he had the choice. They had been through so much together and realized that they relied on each other. The many times Tommy or Tubbo had woken up in a sweat, only to be hushed back to sleep by the other. Maybe they met and became friends by chance and only grew closer due to trauma, but sometimes Tubbo would say they were platonic soulmates. They were just meant to be best friends, whether they liked it or not.

Tommy broke out of his thoughts crying. He realized that it also started raining. He walked through the portal to the nether. He had to finish his message there, he guessed.

He walked to the pathway that led to L’Manburg’s portal. He stopped about halfway, sitting down in the ledge over the lava. He finished his message to Tubbo and looked over it multiple times to make sure it sounded good. He sent it and shut down the floating screen. He couldn’t read Tubbo’s response, it would break him. He had shot a quick goodbye to Ranboo, his half Enderman friend. They had become friends quickly after Ranboo stumbled across L’Manburg in an attempt to escape a skeleton. He didn’t bother saying goodbye to anyone else. He probably should have said goodbye to Philza and Techno, his father and brother. But he wasn’t close to them after Philza had stabbed Wilbur, his other brother, and Techno spawned two withers. He could have said goodbye to Ghostbur, but he figured Ghostbur would know soon enough. He thought long and hard for a minute, about all the happy moments, the sad ones too. He needed to collect his thoughts before he died. He stood up. And just as he was about to take a step he heard, “Tommy!” 

Oh, he hadn’t heard that voice in awhile. His straight posture relaxed. 

“Tubbo?” Tommy replied quietly, looking over to see Tubbo panting as he ran towards Tommy.

“Tommy! Please! You don’t have to die! It’s not your time! We have so many more adventures to go on!” Tubbo cried, tears spilling down his cheeks. Ranboo was with him and teleported him a little bit of the way, but couldn’t teleport more than 50 feet each day. Tubbo had ran all the way from the place where Ranboo teleported to, to the portal and all the way to Tommy.

“Please, Tubbo, let me die happily knowing that this was my time.” Dream had said it wasn’t his time to die a while ago. Hearing Tubbo say the same thing stung.

“Tubbo, it’s my time. Let me go,” Tommy said sadly.

“No please Tommy I can’t, I..I.. I won’t Tommy!” Tubbo had been crying the entire time and hadn’t realized he was yelling. He didn’t realize Ranboo had walked over the rest of the way.

“Tubbo, it’s my time, I’m sorry but you need to move on,” Tommy was crying. He wanted to hug Tubbo so badly but he knew if he didn’t he wouldn’t let go. Ranboo knew this was a moment for them and didn’t comment. He didn’t know Tommy quite as well, nor Tubbo, but he made a silent promise to protect Tubbo and care about him after Tommy was gone.

“Goodbye Tubbo, you are my best friend, but it’s my time to go. I..I love you Tubbo.”

Tubbo was sobbing, he couldn’t stop. “I love you to Tommy.”

Tommy turned to look at him, then he took a step back and fell.


	4. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This switches perspective for a while, I’ll get back to Tommy in a few chapters but now this is all about Tubbo and Ranboo becoming closer. And Tubbo angst. Whee!  
> ____
> 
> A little thing! Dont send to ccs! Respect the fact that i personally dont want them seeing this, even if there arent any ships in here (other than platonic), i dont want them to feel awkward. Thank you!

Tubbo was shaking. Ranboo had never seen him like this before. Tubbo had run to the edge when Tommy stepped off. He had screamed Tommy’s name before grabbing the edge of the walkway crying and shaking. Ranboo shifted closer. Suddenly his message board popped up. 

“Tommy tried to swim in lava.” 

_ Oh shit, _ Ranboo thought _ , Tommy’s really dead.  _ The message board only popped up when you opened it or someone had died. People get injured badly and teleport to their beds, that's normal. That doesn't cause the message board to pop up. But every now and then someone will die. Everyone got 3 lives before they either became ghosts, like Ghostbur, or completely eradicated from the world, like Schlatt. No one knows if you become a ghost or eradicated until a few weeks after your last death. Was Tommy truly gone like Schlatt? Or would he be a ghost like Ghostbur? Ranboo had forgotten Tubbo while he thought. Tubbo had leaned back from the edge now. He was sitting on his knees, face lowered to his chest. Ranboo saw a glittering object in his hands that were close to his heart.  _ Tubbo’s compass that pointed to Tommy. _ Ranboo couldn’t hold back his own tears now. 

“I'm so sorry Tubbo,” Ranboo said after awhile. He put his hand on Tubbo’s back. Tubbo let out a small mumble. 

“I’m sorry, Tubbo. I can't understand what you are saying,” Ranboo tried to keep his voice even, but it wasn't working so well.

“Can I have a hug please?” Tubbo asked in a small voice. Ranboo was a little confused at first. In his hometown people usually needed a lot of space after someone they cared deeply about passed. But Ranboo knew this would help Tubbo, the boy loved hugs and physical touch. 

“Of course Tubbo,” he said nodding his head. Tubbo quickly, yet gently, hopped into Ranboo’s arms sobbing. He cried and cried, soaking Ranboo’s new suit. Ranboo felt his own face get wet. After a while the crying had slowed down to a few sniffles from Tubbo. 

“Tubbo, hey, we should head back soon before the others start to worry,” Ranboo said softly. “Okay,” Tubbo replied meekly. All Tubbo wanted to do was cry and sit, but he knew he should do something else so he doesn't fall into a pit of despair. Quackity had become severely depressed after Schlatt had died of a heart attack. Of course Quackity knew he was drinking, but he still hoped that maybe they could have been happy. Tubbo remembered Quackity’s bad nights where he would wake up screaming. Tubbo could hear him, only being a room away. Slowly but surely Quackity became better, it hurt him to move on, but he needed to. 

“Can I see my bees please Ranboo?’ Tubbo asked. 

“Yeah, ok, lets go to your bees Tubbo,” Ranboo knew Tubbo would probably be in a state when they went back. His suit crumpled and wrinkled. His hair was a mess, and tear stains running down his cheeks. Not to mention his puffy and bloodshot eyes. Ranboo walked him to the portal and put an arm around him. Tubbo looked shell shocked. Ranboo didn't feel any better either. As the overworld was coming into view, Ranboo saw the group of people standing around the portal. He hoped they wouldn’t ask any questions, knowing Tubbo was probably in too fragile of a state. Ranboo and Tubbo walked out of the portal only to be met by Quackity moving forward. 

“What happened?” Quackity asked quietly. Tubbo tried to speak but all that came out was a whimper. Ranboo saw the tears build up again and suddenly Tubbo was crying harder than before. Before Ranboo could grab Tubbo and hug him again, he fell to the floor. His body shaking with the intensity of his sobs. Ranboo looked at Quackity and saw his “Oh shit! What have I done?” face. Ranboo didn't know what to do. He looked at the group and saw only a few people missing. Notably Dream (He didn't know why Dream was missing since he was the person who visited Tommy the most often.), Philza, and Technoblade. Now Philza and Techno were understandable. Techno wasn’t allowed in L’Manburg anymore and Philza followed Techno anywhere honestly, even though he had a house in L’Manburg. A shadow from the sky took him out of his thoughts. With a gentle whoosh, Philza landed on the ground. He had landed farther back behind the crowd since he didn't want to knock any of them over. He briskly walked through the crowd over to Tubbo who was still shaking and sobbing. Philza thought of Tubbo as an adopted son. Tubbo acted more like Philza than any of Philza’s own sons did. Tubbo was calm and collected almost all the time, just like Philza. When Tommy had found Tubbo the first day they had met, Philza knew the pair was going to be inseparable. Philza was shocked when he learned Tubbo had exiled Tommy. Philza bent down to the ground to look at Tubbo. He grabbed his arms harshly and pulled Tubbo into a hug. To give them their own little bit of privacy in the open plaza, Philza used his wings and shielded Tubbo. Tubbo had never meant for Tommy to become this way. He kept sobbing and saying I'm so sorry Phil. Philza kept trying to calm him down. Patting and rubbing his back, petting his hair. Tubbo almost didn't realize Philza was crying too. Soon enough Tubbo had calmed down enough to walk. Philza opened his wings but still kept them extended, kind of as a warning to the others that he wouldn't hesitate to push them away if they tried anything. 

“Ranboo, thank you,” Philza said in a kind voice. He had seen Ranboo trying to console Tubbo and looking a little panicked when he started crying again. 

“It's no problem Philza,” Ranboo replied. “Tubbo wanted to see his bees. Can you take him there?” 

“Okay,” Philza knew Tubbo liked bees. Whenever Tommy and Tubbo got into a fight he would find Tubbo near a flower field, watching the bees. Philza wrapped a protective wing around Tubbo’s shoulder. He knew Techno was waiting on the other side of the portal, waiting for Philza to come back. Philza shot him a quick message telling him to go back home and he would join him there after he took care of Tubbo for a while. Philza walked Tubbo to his bees and told him that if Tubbo should need anything, he should shoot Philza a message. Tubbo thanked him and sat down on the staircase that led to the lower level of flowers. Tubbo wanted to be alone. 

“Goodbye Tubbo,” Philza said softly, “Remember if you need anything you can always message me.” 

“Of course,” Tubbo replied, “Thank you.” And with that Philza opened the doors, shut them, then flew off. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg i had to re-paste this thing like 20 time from my google docs ughhh AO3 is hard to write on T-T


	5. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place from the moment Philza walked off. This is about Ranboo and the others. Don't worry! Tubbo will be back at some point.  
> ____
> 
> A little thing! Dont send to ccs! Respect the fact that i personally dont want them seeing this, even if there arent any ships in here (other than platonic), i dont want them to feel awkward. Thank you!

Ranboo stood watching Philza walk away with Tubbo. He felt like shit. 

“Ranboo? Hello? Are you ok?” Quackity asked. 

“I..uh.. I’m fine. I'm just worried about Tubbo,” Ranboo replied honestly. He knew the others were confused, so he told them what happened. 

____

AN: I am including everything that happened from Ranboo’s perspective, so if you want you can skip it, but it does show a lot of stuff about Ranboo and Ranboo’s reasoning behind promising Tommy to protect Tubbo.

______

“Tubbo and I were in the garden by my house when Tubbo got a private message from Tommy. He started reading it aloud and then he just stopped talking. I suddenly got my own message stating, “Thank you Ranboo for being my friend when no one else was. Please take care of Tubbo for me. Goodbye forever, Tommy.” I honestly didn't know what was happening. I’m still not used to how you people work. But Tubbo pulled out his compass, the needle was spinning wildly. I guess Tubbo knew that Tommy was in the nether. Tubbo grabbed me and said “Ranboo please teleport us as close to the portal as you can get us!” I honestly didn't really know how to respond so I just said ok. I got us about 10 feet away from the portal, so while I was taking a breath, because teleporting that much really tired me out, Tubbo ran all the way up the stairs and into the portal. I followed suit pretty closely. By the time I got to Tubbo and Tommy it didn't look all that good.” Ranboo started shaking a little bit remembering the sad and teary eyes of Tommy.

“Are you ok?” Nihachu asked softly. She never spoke that loudly anyways but she sounded so gentle right now. 

“I.. I’m ok. Can I hug you while finishing the story though?” Ranboo didn't think he would be able to look at the others while he finished the story. 

“Yeah, of course Ranboo.” Nihachu said. 

“Okay thank you Niki,” Ranboo called her by her nickname that people had given her. 

“I walked up. Tommy was asking Tubbo to let him go. Tommy looked about half dead standing there. His shirt ripped and he had lost a shoe. He had bandages covering his arms. Blood was slightly soaked through the bandages and he had a few new scars on his face. He was also covered in dirt. I..I think he was more ready to.. to die than any of us were ready for him to die. He told Tubbo he loved him. Then he turned to face Tubbo. And he.. he,” Ranboo was sobbing at this point, tears running down his face, “he leaned back and fell.” Ranboo finished the story. Everyone looked shocked. Quackity had tears running down his face, but hadn't made a noise. Niki was crying and holding the tall half enderman. She may have also been half enderman, but she was a lot shorter than him. Ranboo was hunched over hugging her. George and Sapnap usually were fond of making fun of Tommy, often bullying him honestly, but they couldn't think of anything to say. They couldn't even blame him. They were all a little shell shocked. Soon enough Ranboo calmed down. Philza had just gotten back from Tubbo. 

“I would ask about Tommy, but I feel you just finished telling the story and I don't want y’all crying again.” Philza stated honestly. “I’ll ask you what happened later.” Philza was trying to hold himself back from crying. This was his little baby. His smallest, yet his most active and endearing child. He wished he could have been there to hold him one last time. Philza let out a small excuse to go home before he started crying again. He needed to talk to Techno. Ranboo gave the shorter man a hug. Everyone felt a little bad for Philza. Not only had he had to kill his son, Wilbur, but now he lost his youngest child. His oldest son was running from the law and was living in a personal exile. Philza said goodbye and said he would ask what happened later. Though Tommy died in exile, it was clear almost everyone wanted to have a funeral for him. Even though Tommy had started a war, or two, he was still funny and a good person. Everyone felt like he was that annoying younger brother. No matter how many times you told him to bug off he was still there. It was endearing. Bad had been quiet. Usually he was very talkative, but this somehow made him so quiet. The demon walked forward and gave a soft hug to Philza before he left. Philza tensed at first, his wings shooting out in surprise, but slowly his wings relaxed. He folded the wings embracing Bad. Bad didn't often give hugs. He was big on handshakes and back pats and side hugs, but full on front hugs were reserved for special moments. Everyone was a little shocked when Bad told Philza, “Take care, I'll visit you soon.” No one knew where Techno was, except for Bad. Bad only found out because Carl had become injured during a hunting trip and Techno didn't know how to help him. So he reached out to the demon knowing he had animal knowledge and wasn't on any side. Bad had visited him and helped Carl until he became well again. Bad promised to visit if anything else happened, and this was definitely something. Philza thanked him then walked into the portal, returning home. 

It was getting rather late in the day and everyone decided hot chocolate and some comfort food from Niki’s bakery was a good decision. 


	6. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back to Tubbo angst. >:3  
> ____
> 
> A little thing! Dont send to ccs! Respect the fact that i personally dont want them seeing this, even if there arent any ships in here (other than platonic), i dont want them to feel awkward. Thank you!

Tubbo woke up after a nightmare. It had been a few days since Tommy fell. Ranboo had visited him late that night bringing him some hot chocolate and then taking him back home. Ranboo had stayed since, sticking close to Tubbo. The whole city went into just a state of sadness. They may not have elected Tubbo into office, but he was kind and silly. They loved his kind nature, his fluffy hair, his bright eyes, and most of all they loved that he was with bees almost more than he was actual people. He was a strange one, yet he remained bright and hopeful even though he had been through multiple wars at the young age of 16. 

Now all they saw of Tubbo was crumpled suits, pink cheeks from crying, and honestly they haven't seen him smile since. He always assured them he was fine. Ranboo and Quackity were the only ones who really knew how many sleepless nights he had. The others could see the eyebags, but did not ask. Tubbo was slowly planning a funeral. He couldn't work on it long before he cried again. Eventually he asked Ranboo to finish the plans. About a week after Tommy died, they held the funeral. Tubbo walked up to the podium at the front. There would usually be a casket below but there obviously wasn't a body. Insead Tubbo had placed a disk in a glass box. He arranged flowers and pictures Tubbo had around. 

He started slowly, “Thank you all for being here. I.. I’m not exactly sure how to start this. I guess, let me start from the beginning.” Tubbo mentioned how they first met. How Tommy found Tubbo in a box holding a stuffed bee plush. How they became friends. He talked about how he found a flower field and told Tommy he wanted to live there forever. And how Tommy said he would go anywhere with his best friend. Tubbo couldn't help crying at this point. He described how they went through the first war and the second. All the battles and scars they had. He mentioned how so many times Tubbo had looked in the mirror looking at the large scar on his neck and face from the festival. He told them about the times he asked if he looked ugly with the scar and the times Tommy told him he looked badass. He skipped over the nightmares and the late nights talking about bees or anything else. He smiled through the tears, fond at the memories. Then he talked about the morning leading up to Tommy’s death. “I opened my message board. I hadn't talked to Tommy since I exiled him. I was scared, thinking he was telling me how much he hated me, but really it was the opposite.” Tubbo took a deep breath before he read Tommy’s message to him. 

_ Dear Tubbo,  _

_ My Tubbo. I hate to message you and tell you this way, but this is the end for me. I made a bunker under Logstedshire, but Dream took that away. I guess he thought I was planning on rebelling. At first I was. I hated you all so much. I was so angry, I felt so betrayed. But soon I realized that the only thing that matters is family. And Tubbo, you are my family. I did leave a gift for you at Logstedshire, it's in a secret place. I buried it in the place I saw you for the first time when you came through the portal. I hope you remember where I was standing. I hope I don't see you before I die. I can barely hold back the thought of just walking through the L’Manburg portal, just to find you and hug you. I figured I would probably die before I got to you. I’m not sure what else to say. Good bye Tubbo. _

_ Your Tommy _

Tubbo was crying reading the letter. He hated how he sent Tommy away. But he couldn't change the past. He has to move on. He stood up straight, taking a breath he finished his small speech. 

“I regret sending Tommy away,” he stated truthfully. “I regret not standing up to Dream. I don't blame Dream for Tommy’s death. Though I want to, it wasn't his fault. I do however blame him for destroying Logstedshire. I went a few days ago to collect the gift from Tommy. Tommy’s tent was gone. Logstedshire was sunken in, I'm assuming Dream blew it up.” Tubbo was angry, but he would move on that anger later. He had plans for Dream and right now he needed to focus on Tommy. He explained how he had been there for those few final moments. “Tommy and I may have parted on good terms, but the pain remains intense. Watching him jump may have been the worst thing in my life, but I have learned as well. From now on I won’t exile anyone. I can’t. It's too much to handle thinking about how one of you may end up like Tommy. I blame myself a little for Tommy’s death. I know, before you all yell “Tubbo it's not your fault! How could you have known?”, I did know Tommy was getting this bad. We all knew. Yet no one did anything.” Tubbo was crying again. He felt he could only blame himself. “I did nothing. I was, am, I am his best friend. And I did nothing to help him. I never visited him. But I need to move on. It hurts thinking he may be gone forever. It hurts worse knowing he may become like Wilbur, Ghostbur sorry. It would hurt me so much, if he only remembered the good times. All the good times we shared, yet erase all of who he became at the end. I don't think I could handle it if it was reversed as well, him only remembering the bad times.” Tubbo had started rambling. Ranboo could see tiny bits of insanity pop up in his eyes. Ranboo knew Tubbo had been struggling with sleep and honestly he had stopped eating his usual 3 meals plus afternoon and midnight snack. Now all he ate was lunch and maybe an afternoon snack. And he slept less than 5 hours each night. “I guess what I’m trying to say is, life sucks without Tommy. There's no better way to put it. Tommy was my rock, he was there when I needed him the most. I may not ever have a romantic soulmate, but at least I know Tommy was my platonic soulmate. And I hope that when I die, whenever that may be, I hope I see him. I hope I will be able to live with him beyond our lives.” Tubbo had calmed down a little bit. He said thank you and sat down to let Ghostbur finish priest-y things. He wanted to be alone. His emotions were conflicted. As they were walking out, he felt something wrong. 

“Ranboo?” Tubbo started asking in a faint voice grabbing Ranboo’s sleeve. His vision swam. Then it went dark. 


	7. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ranboo’s perspective! whoo  
> ____
> 
> A little thing! Dont send to ccs! Respect the fact that i personally dont want them seeing this, even if there arent any ships in here (other than platonic), i dont want them to feel awkward. Thank you!

Ranboo barely caught Tubbo after he fainted. Ranboo had yelped when Tubbo fell, alerting the others. Ranboo quickly picked up Tubbo, picking him up in a princess carry. The already small boy had lost weight due to his lack of eating. Ranboo could feel the difference, since he had sparred with Tubbo only two weeks prior to Tommy’s death. He quickly teleported Tubbo to his room. He bent down and placed him gently on the bed. He then returned back to the group of people, now slightly frantic over their young president.

“What happened?” Nihachu asked in a frantic tone. She wasn't one for being loud, but now she had just about yelled that. Both her and Philza had walked up to him. Both of them are closer to Tubbo than most others. Save for Fundy, but the fox had had urgent matters to attend to in a near city. 

“I think he pushed himself too far. He hadn't been eating all that much because of Tommy's... death.” Ranboo explained how Tubbo had fallen into a depression and was most likely lacking nutrition and positivity. 

Philza nodded in understanding. He himself hadn’t been sleeping much, trauma from killing Wilbur now reoccuring in his mind. Nihachu promised to go make a healthy, yet filling, meal for Tubbo for when he woke up.


	8. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the short chapter I just wanted to move on.  
> ⚠️TW BTW cutting, mentions of past cutting, if this bothers you please do not read. It is important to the plot and won’t be dropped. Please, if this triggers you, please find another story! This is a main point and does play into the end of the book!⚠️  
> ____
> 
> A little thing! Dont send to ccs! Respect the fact that i personally dont want them seeing this, even if there arent any ships in here (other than platonic), i dont want them to feel awkward. Thank you!

Tubbo woke up feeling horrible. He felt uncomfortable and sad. Ranboo hadn’t changed his clothes, out of respect and privacy for the other, and now his nice suit was crumpled. Tubbo remembered why he was there and started panicking. He quickly got up, which was a mistake, because he fell down. Ranboo rushed in after he heard the crash. 

“Tubbo? Are you ok?” Ranboo was worried. Tubbo had slept for almost 16 hours. Ranboo may not have known much about his human side, being raised in an enderman exclusive village, but he knew that for both species it was bad to sleep that long. Niki’s food had long gone cold, but she could just heat it up again. 

“Mmhm, I’m ok Ranboo. I just feel a little faint,” Tubbo explained. “What happened Ranboo? I’m a little confused. I remember going to his funeral, but my memories get fuzzy after that.”

“Well, everything was fine at the funeral, nothing went wrong. But you did collapse after. I’m glad to see you’re okay! What happened though? I know you haven’t been eating as much and sleeping less. You need to tell me what’s going on so we can help you.” Ranboo wasn’t usually persistent about personal matters, but he cared for Tubbo and promised Tommy to take care of him. 

“I..uh.. I just.. I don’t know,” Tubbo didn’t want to explain much. He knew that if he started telling Ranboo what was wrong, he would eventually would tell about the reasons he never wore short sleeved shirts anymore. He had told Tommy, but Tommy was gone now. He wanted to tell him everything, but Tubbo was worried that he would suggest retiring from his presidency. As much as being a president was stressful, the people of L’Manburg brought his spirits up. He cared about them and he knew they cared about him too. 

Ranboo pushed Tubbo a little more, “Tubbo, I care about you ok? You need to tell me what’s going on. I’ve noticed little things and I want to get you help if you need it. I won’t try and convince you to quit your work, but you’re working too hard and you need a break.” Ranboo knew Tubbo was going through a really tough time and he wanted to help him. 

Tubbo really didn't know what to say. He didn’t want to tell Ranboo, but Ranboo also had a point. He needed help. So he did what he thought best and told Ranboo everything. He told him how he struggled from depression, not just since Tommy was exiled, but since he found out Philza adopted him. He knew he wasn’t Philza’s son, but when he found out he was found in a box abandoned on the side of the road, that hurt. His own father and mother didn’t want him. He was thankful for Phil but it was still shocking how he found out. He told Ranboo this. He explained how he struggled with his appearance. He didn’t like his scar on his neck and face, where Techno had blown him up with a firework. He explained how he hated himself for sending Tommy away. He thought Tommy would push through and come back, but he was wrong. So horribly wrong. And he told Ranboo why he never rolled his sleeves, or wore short sleeves, even though it was the middle of summer. He took off his blazer and removed his dress shirt, the sleeves didn’t roll up on the dress shirt because it was tight fitting. He first crossed his arms and slightly hugged himself. He had only shown Tommy this and was worried how Ranboo would respond. Ranboo saw his worried face and placed his hand on his shoulder. 

“Tubbo, hey, it’s ok. You don’t have to show me if you don’t want to,” Ranboo was gentle with Tubbo. He knew Tubbo had been through a lot and he didn’t want to push him too far. 

“It’s fine Ranboo. I’m just worried you won’t see me the same. I know I always put on a happy face, and I just am scared.” Tubbo knew Ranboo meant the best, but he was still worried. 

“I won’t judge you Tubbo,” Ranboo was honest with his words. He trusted Tubbo and he hoped Tubbo trusted him. 

“Thank you, Ranboo,” Tubbo replied slowly. He opened his arms and showed Ranboo. 

Ranboo gasped. He had never seen so many scars on a person before. Up and down Tubbo’s forearm was scars. Some were small, some were larger. Most overlapped and were scars piled on scars. Tubbo admitted that this had been happening for a while. He told Ranboo about the first time he cut. He had been home alone with Tommy, and it was late at night. Philza and the others had left early that morning for a trip to a village to trade some of their farmed goods and some carvings that Tommy and Tubbo had made. Tommy was sleeping but Tubbo couldn’t sleep. Even though Tommy was right there, he felt so alone. Philza had told him about two weeks ago how he was found. He felt so alone. He walked to the kitchen, planning on getting some water, but a voice in his head told him something else. Tubbo explained how the voice started telling him he didn’t matter. Soon enough Philza and the others would leave him just like his mother and father did. They would leave him and laugh about it. The voice was relentless. It told him he should off himself before the others did. And that was the first night, of many, that Tubbo had cut himself. Tubbo has passed out after a few cuts. He didn’t like the sight of blood all that much. The next morning he woke up to Tommy crying and shaking him. He was confused as to why Tommy was crying then he realized that there was a small pool of blood under him.  _ Oh,  _ Tubbo thought,  _ I went too deep.  _ Tommy was mad at him for the entire day, but Tommy did help him clean up. He put a bandage on his arm and washed the knife. Tommy wouldn’t let Tubbo go out. At first Tubbo was angry because Tommy was being annoyingly overprotective, but soon enough Tommy explained that he thought Tubbo had died. Tommy explained that he was so worried he had lost Tubbo and he was worried he was going to have to bury him. Tommy didn’t want Tubbo to die. 

Ranboo smiled inwardly when he heard about Tommy. He knew Tommy cared deeply about Tubbo. He was still upset that Tubbo had thought he was going to judge him. Ranboo may not understand everything about humans, or even animal hybrids, but he still had emotions. How could he have judged him? Tubbo was his little president. 

He snapped back to reality when he realized Tubbo had stopped talking. 

“Are you ok, Tubbo?” Ranboo spoke softly as to not scare him. 

“Yeah. I’m ok. I don’t really have much else to say. Obviously as you can see I.. I cut a few more times after that. Almost always when the group went away. Tommy eventually told Philza and Philza lectured me on how important family was to him, and how even though I wasn’t related to any of them, I was as much a brother, and son, as they were.” Tubbo had started crying about halfway through his story, a little after he mentioned Tommy. The tears may have gone away but he still felt like he was one wrong move away from totally breaking down again. He told Ranboo how the night after Tommy died, he had cut again. He had been free of cutting for so long, almost a year! By then Tubbo had gotten good at knowing how deep to go. He cut a little too deep that night, but not deep enough to need stitches. So he hid it from Ranboo. The wounds weren’t healed yet but they had started to. Ranboo gently grabbed his hands. 

“Hey, Tubbo, I know it doesn’t seem like it but, it will become easier and better,” Ranboo wanted to make Tubbo as comfortable as possible. “Niki made you some food when you passed out. It’s cold now, but we can heat it up. You should eat something.” 

Tubbo teared up. His friend cared about him. He had felt so lost and alone for so long and now he was being wrapped in a hug by someone who truly cared about him.

“I am kinda hungry,” Tubbo said honestly through his small tears. 

“Do you want me to go so you can change? Or do you think you might need some help?” Ranboo was honest. Tubbo was flustered. 

“NO, uh I mean, no I’m good, you can go...haha,” Tubbo turned red. He knew the whole “but we’re both guys so it shouldn’t matter” thing existed, he just wasn’t comfortable changing around people. It was a thing since he was little. He always waited for Tommy to leave before he changed. At the sudden good memory of Tommy, he smiled fondly. Ranboo was a little confused, but honestly he was always a little confused. Tubbo’s outburst accompanied with his face of heavy blush, then his soft smile was a confusing thing to Ranboo. 

Ranboo smiled softly, “All right, I’ll be outside the door if you need anything.” And so he left. And he stood right by the door, just like he said. 

About 10 minutes later Tubbo came out of his room. It was perfect timing really, because Quackity was just passing through the hall when Tubbo announced, “Ok Ranboo, I’m coming out.” To which Quackity responded with, “Aw it’s great that you can come out. We will always support you honey! Go get a mans!!” Tubbo opened the door, but promptly fell to the floor in a giggle fit. Quackity was already laughing and seeing Tubbo on the floor made him laugh even harder. Ranboo, again, was slightly confused. He let out a confused laugh which only threw the others into more hysterical laughter. It was another five minutes before they really calmed down. Tubbo had a bright smile on his face. Both Ranboo and Quackity felt a little throb In their heart when they saw his smile. It had been so long. They couldn’t help the smiles growing on their faces. 

“Quackity it’s really nice to see you. I’m sorry for scaring you all, with me fainting and stuff, but I feel a lot better now.” Tubbo hugged Quackity while apologizing.

“Dude, it’s totally fine. I mean yeah you scared the Jesus out of us, but it’s nice to hear that you are feeling better.” Quackity was a goofy man, but he was almost always honest with his words. And right now his words were the farthest thing from a lie. 

The small group walked to Niki’s bakery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this while kinda in a bad place (i wrote the beginning of this story about 3 weeks ago, anything after chapter 13 is pretty much new), so a lot of emotions are close to mine, and written after my own emotions. Ranboo's reaction was actually based off a close friend's reaction, a gal pal if you catch my drift. :P


	9. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so I’m going back to Philza. This is going to essentially be Philza after the funeral. Um maybe agnst? Sad techno tho. I may do everything from techno’s POV from like the beginning and just be a special chapter. Not gonna do techno too much bc I literally can’t write him. He’s too spontaneous.  
> ____
> 
> A little thing! Dont send to ccs! Respect the fact that i personally dont want them seeing this, even if there arent any ships in here (other than platonic), i dont want them to feel awkward. Thank you!

Philza left after he helped Niki make some food for Tubbo. He didn’t want to talk to anyone, but Niki was sweet and never really pushed him to talk if he didn’t want to. 

When he got back to Techno’s house he tried to keep himself tall. The howling wind and sheets of snow did not help his mood. Techno, even though he was Tommy’s brother, had decided to skip the funeral. He was worried that they would put up a barrier and wouldn’t enjoy the closure that comes from a funeral. Techno never expected Tommy to die. He may have made a whole point about Theseus, but he never really wanted his brother to die. He was angry that his brother had destroyed a government only to install a new one. Eventually, he ran out of hatred towards his brother and all that was left was resentment. Techno wanted to enjoy more with his baby brother, but the world saw only hatred for his little brother. 

Phizal looked heartbroken when he came back. Techno had already started a fire that morning and was setting up a small shrine for his own little funeral, when Philza walked in. The cupboard had a photo of Tommy and a drawn portrait in a frame. Techno had decorated the area with small candles and some spruce twigs. They didn't have many flowers up in the highlands. 

___

_ I'm calling the mountains highlands bc it sounds cool >:(  _

_____

Philza took one look of Techno sitting on the ground in front of a small cupboard and broke down sobbing. 

“Oh gods, what have I done Techno?” He may have directed the question at Techno, but they both knew it was rhetorical. He never wanted to kill Wilbur, even if he had gone a little insane. He was still his son. And oh his baby boy. His little spontaneous combustion of energy. And how he wept for Tubbo. His son, as well. Those two were always together. He knew Tubbo struggled. It was only Tommy and he who knew about Tubbo's depression. Wilbur picked up on it but never asked. Wil never wanted to invade someone's privacy. And Techno just never commented. He knew; he had been through the same thing when the voices started. Though it was a little different. Those voices in his head called for blood. It made him feel like a monster. 

Techno wrapped his dad in a hug. He wasn't one for hugs. When they were a happy family before all this bullshit happened, they made a joke that they would press the hug button. Techno always responded with a deadpan, “And I'm pressing the space button.” It always sent the two youngest into laughter. 

Techno and Philza sat there for a while. Eventually they pulled apart from the hug and just sat on the floor looking at Tommy’s shrine. With absolutely no grace, Techno stood up. 

“You should get off the floor Phil. Your knees are gonna lock up old man,” Techno said. Techno reached out a hand to Philza. Philza took it gently with a soft thank you. 

“I'll make some coffee. You should sit by the fire.” Techno solemnly walks to the kitchen to go make the coffee. Remembering that Philza wings were adequately wet from flying in all the snow he grabs a towel on his way. After making the coffee he gives it to his grief stricken father before sitting behind him. Techno slowly brings the towel to his wings and gently patts it. Philza jumps a little before swiftly turning back to see what just happened, “You can't scare me like that!” 

“I’m sorry, I just thought that you'd probably need to dry ‘em off or they might freeze off.” Philza spread his wing over his shoulder and started brushing thr ough the feathers, hopefully drying them out while Techno towles the rest. They used to do this a lot. It was one of their nightly rituals, then shit hit the fan and Philza disappeared for awhile. Eventually Philza just let Techno do all the work. Phil was tired. He let his wing slowly go back and let it just lay. He grabbed the coffee and started sipping it. He knew it was late and he probably shouldn't be drinking coffee at this hour, but it made him feel better. 

An hour later, his wings were completely dried and warmed. He had finished his coffee a while ago and now he was sitting on the couch with Techno. Techno had fallen asleep leaning over on a pillow. Philza felt empty. He watched his son’s breathing. He was scared for the day when he wouldn’t see him breathe. It hurt. Oh how his heart ached. He couldn’t focus. His mind moving numbingly slow, but also too fast to understand anything. He felt angry, angry at himself. Anger at Tubbo. Anger at Dream. Anger at the world. But he felt hollow. The anger just made him feel slow. He stood up. He needed to sleep. 

“Phil?” Techno asked softly.  _ Ah shit _ , Philza thought,  _ I woke him up. _

“Sorry Tech, I’m gonna go lie in bed. You should too,” Philza was trying his hardest to be together, but his eyes kept slipping to Tommy’s shrine. He walked over to the shrine and blew out the candles. Techno walked over. 

“It’s ok Phi- dad, everything will be ok,” Techno never called Philza dad. He wanted to show Philza that even if he lost two sons, he still had him. He was still here, and he would always be thankful for everything Philza’s done for him. 

Philza started sobbing. He couldn’t hold it in anymore. He fell to the floor next to Tommy’s shrine. He unconsciously used his wings to shield him. He didn’t want to deal with this pain anymore. He was so tired. He cried until he couldn’t cry anymore, all the while Techno watched. He had never seen his father so broken before. He felt tears in his eyes again. 

Once Philza stopped crying, Techno kneeled down and hugged him. 

“Let’s go to bed,” Techno said softly, “it’s been a long day.” 


	10. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you liked “sad” Phil and “finally accepting the fact that he can call Philza dad” Techno. Also this is a little bit of a time skip. So this chapter is gonna be kinda weird cuz I’m writing Tommy now. And it may seem like it’s only going to be like a day of stuff, but this is all happening while the other stuff is going on. By the time Tommy comes back, it is going to be about 10-14 days after the funeral. Pretty much, Tubbo started getting help like two days after (he do therapy for like three days idk I’m gay I can’t do math), but you’ll see what happens when he meets Tommy (or does he meet Tommy?!?) anyways! Enjoy ❤️  
> ____
> 
> A little thing! Dont send to ccs! Respect the fact that i personally dont want them seeing this, even if there arent any ships in here (other than platonic), i dont want them to feel awkward. Thank you!

“Ah fuck,” Tommy groaned, “god my whole body fuckin hurts! Ugggh.” Everything hurt. It took him a minute to remember what happened. 

With sudden realization of what happened he yelled.

“NO NO no no nono,” Tommy was not doing great.

“God oh no, Tubbo!” Tommy yelled.  _ No no nononono, this canNOT be happening, _ Tommy thought.  _ Shit shit shit fuck.  _ Tommy was in so much pain, but he also felt cold. He was burning up on the inside but he was freezing to death on the outside. Finally things started to make sense around him. The forest started to become clearer to him. He couldn’t help crying. And those tears, they burned. It felt like hot lava on his face. He screamed.

___

Ghostbur heard a noise. He heard a scream. 

“What was that?” He thought aloud. 

“Whatcha talkin about Ghostbur?” Tubbo asked. Ranboo chimes in with a “yeah”. 

“I think I just heard a scream, did you not hear it?” He asked.

“No, I didn’t hear anything..?” Tubbo was confused. 

“Maybe we should check it out, ya know to make sure no one is dying to a mob,” Ranboo said. His idea sounded good. They agreed and went out in search of the voice. 

___

Tommy didn’t want to be a ghost. He didn’t want to live like this. His mind fought his heart. 

_ But now I can see Tubbo again!  _

**_Yeah, but do you think he’ll forgive you, you did kill yourself in front of him._ **

_ No, no, he will forgive me. We’re best mates.  _

**_Yeah, right._ **

_ Stop it.  _

**_No._ **

_ Please stop.  _

**_Haha, yeah right. I’m your mind, I can’t stop dimwit._ **

Tommy was crying still. He finally looked down and realized his tears were glowing. No not just that. They were on fire. He was crying lava. The price you pay for jumping into lava. His tears burned. He sobbed. His heart aching for Tubbo. He wanted to go back to his childhood. He wanted to go back to when he could wake up in the middle of the night and just scoot over to Tubbo. His sobs were loud.

___

“Someone is crying now,” Ghostbur said. He could hear loud sobbing. 

“Can you hear anything Ranboo?” Tubbo asked. 

“I mean, besides the world around us, no. I don’t hear any crying,” Ranboo was honest. 

“Ghostbur, do you think it may be a ghost of someone you're hearing?” Tubbo asked. 

“Maybe?” Ghostbur wasn’t used to this. He kept Friend on her lead and they all kept walking through the forest. The crying got louder.

“Can you take Friend for a minute?” Ghostbur asked. 

“Sure thing Mr. Ghostbur!” Tubbo said lightly. Ranboo lightly laughed at that. He grabbed the lead from Ghostbur and Ghostbur ran ahead. 

He turned a corner and saw him.

“Tommy?” Ghostbur was shocked by his appearance. His clothes were burnt and dirty, his skin was cracked and bright yellow showed through. His skin looked like burned paper around where the cracks were. And then Ghostbur saw his eyes. His once bright blue eyes were a light blue gray, almost like Eret’s. They were darker than Eret’s. Instead of a dark black center where his pupil would be, was a bright orange yellow. And his tears. They looked like lava. Unlike Ghostbur who almost floated, Tommy stood on the ground. His feet leaving little imprints in the dirt. 

“Ghostbur?” Tommy replied. His tears slowly stopped. Tommy wiped his face. Ghostbur gasped. Where the tears had fallen were lines. Dark black lines, burnt into his skin. Ghostbur ran up to Tommy and hugged him. 

“Oh god Tommy, we missed you. We thought you were gone forever.” Ghostbur was worried how Tubbo would react to Tommy, but he wanted to make sure Tommy knew they missed him. 

“Oh,” Tommy didn’t know what to say. Then someone came around a tree. Tubbo. 


	11. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whee cliff hangers!! I was going to put their interactions in that chapter but I’d rather you suffer. Also Ranboo needs more attention. He is baby. Sadly he won’t be a focus for awhile. Enjoy Tommy and Tubbo angst plus some fluff.
> 
> ___
> 
> maybe ill do a spinoff with Ranboo's perspective, or one where Tommy doesnt come back and Ranboo is there to help tubbo become the president he is supposed to be. Also this doesnt follow cannon at all, like exile arc then it breaks off.  
> ____
> 
> A little thing! Dont send to ccs! Respect the fact that i personally dont want them seeing this, even if there arent any ships in here (other than platonic), i dont want them to feel awkward. Thank you!

Tubbo was in shock. His best friend stood before him. He knew it could be possible that people come back as ghosts, but usually they have unresolved issues. Wilbur came back as Ghostbur because L’Manburg was his unfinished symphony. Once Ghostbur finished his symphony, he would probably fade away. But what was Tommy doing? What was unfinished for him? He stood in confusion, only realizing that he was crying after Ranboo put a hand on his shoulder. 

“Tommy?” Tubbo said hesitantly. 

“Tubbo, I-,” he didn’t get to finish before Tubbo ran to him and gave him a hug. He cried into Tommy's shoulder. Tommy looked like he was burning, but he couldn’t have felt more cold. At least he was completely solid, unlike Ghostbur who wasn’t completely solid. Tommy wrapped his arms around Tubbo. He was sad. They were both grieving. 

Tubbo backed away and slapped Tommy. 

“What the hell?!” Tubbo cried. “Why did you scare me like that? How could you do that to me?” Tubbo was furious. He loved Tommy and seeing him die was the worst thing ever. 

“Why did you take so long to come back?” Tubbo said softly, hugging Tommy again. Ghostbur came back after a few days. Tommy took almost three weeks. “I thought you were gone forever.” Tubbo didn’t know how to feel. He was sad. And angry. But he was also confused. 

“I’m sorry, Tubbo. I don’t know,” Tommy replied honestly. 

“Do you at least remember us? I mean you obviously remember me, but Ranboo? Do you remember him?” Tubbo would be heartbroken if Tommy didn’t really remember everything. 

“Yeah, I remember almost everything. Some things are blurry but I remember,” Tommy didn’t want to remember himself dying. He remembers his death. He remembers the look on Tubbo’s face after he threw himself off the bridge. He was just happy to be back with Tubbo. He missed him so much.

**_Liar. You may miss him, but he doesn’t miss you._ **

**** Oh no. 

**_He’s pretending._ **

_ SHUT UP YOU LIAR.  _

No, no this couldn’t be happening. Tommy grabbed his head. He fell to the floor. His head in his hands. He started crying. The black lines on his face glowing bright red as lava tears streamed down his face. He screamed in pain. It burned and his mind was at war with his heart. 

_ He said I love you, how could he hate us? _

**_We jumped you idiot. We probably traumatized him. No not probably, we did. Do you not remember when we were kids?_ **

_ Oh Tubbo..  _

Tommy’s face paled. He looked up, in a daze. Tubbo couldn’t see what he was thinking, or if he was thinking at all. Tommy let his arms drop. He was on his knees, looking at the sky. A moment of pure silence. Then a deafening scream. 


	12. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> possessed Tommy? No. Just trauma. Good morning (or evening) how are you? Tommy’s not doing good but I hope you are!  
> ____
> 
> A little thing! Dont send to ccs! Respect the fact that i personally dont want them seeing this, even if there arent any ships in here (other than platonic), i dont want them to feel awkward. Thank you!

Tubbo grabbed his head after Tommy screamed. After Tommy had quieted down, he removed his hands and looked at him. He had closed his eyes in response to the scream. Tommy collapsed on the ground. His body crumpled under himself. Tubbo didn’t know what to do. No one knew what to do. They were all shocked. Eventually they got their bearings. 

“We need to bring him home,” Tubbo said. They needed to make sure Tommy was ok. He seemed to be not exactly a ghost, but not alive either. Though he was slightly transparent, Tommy still weighed the same. Maybe even a little heavier. Tubbo wasn’t that strong, regardless of working out. Ranboo was the strongest, not including Ghostbur (he couldn’t carry people, he could barely hold on to Friend’s lead). Ranboo picked up Tommy and piggybacked him to L’Manburg. As much at they were worried about what Dream would do, they also knew Tommy was dead. Dream can’t kill a dead man. They took him to Tubbo’s room and laid him down on the comforter. At first they were worried that his lava tears would burn stuff, and L’Manburg being made mainly out of wood was a concern. But they realized that the tears only burned Tommy. When they touched something else, they turned to ice. 

“Do you want to tell everyone?” Ranboo asked, putting his hand on Tubbo’s shoulder.

“I think we should wait till Tommy is up. Maybe we could tell Niki or Quackity,” Tubbo was hesitant. He didn’t want people freaking out about Tommy being a ghost. It also didn’t help that Tommy looked like a magma cube but as a person. 

“We’ll tell them in the morning, it’s getting late now,” Tubbo concluded. 

“Ok, do you want to stay at my house? I have an extra bed,” Ranboo asked. “You could also just borrow Philza’s house. I don’t think he’s been to L’Manburg since the funeral.”

“It’s fine, Ranboo. I’ll sleep on the floor. I got some new bee plushies recently anyways,” Tubbo said. Ghostbur aww-ed at the mention of bee plushies. Tubbo promptly let out an exasperated sigh and a quiet “shut up” and ushered them out the door of his room. He made a small little pillow circle and grabbed an extra blanket from his closet and lied down. He fell asleep, only to have nightmarish dreams. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if i make a mistake with anything, please comment. Its late when im posting these and my brain do be dead.


	13. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha but Tubbo with bee plushies is like the most adorable thought ever aw  
> big UwU vibes  
> ____
> 
> A little thing! Dont send to ccs! Respect the fact that i personally dont want them seeing this, even if there arent any ships in here (other than platonic), i dont want them to feel awkward. Thank you!

Tommy woke up. His head hurt. He couldn’t remember what happened. Where was he. He remembers seeing Tubbo, hugging Tubbo, Tubbo slapping him then hugging him again, then it goes dark. He remembers seeing Ranboo and Ghostbur. His face hurt. He got up slowly from the strange bed. He still didn’t know where he was. He looked down. Tubbo.  _ I guess I passed out or something. Didn’t know dead people could pass out. I need to be careful, I don’t wanna step on Tubs,  _ he thought. He stepped carefully, as to avoid waking up Tubbo by stepping on him. He walked over to a door and opened it. It was a closet, probably Tubbo’s. Considering the fact that there were a few sweaters with bees on them. He closed the door and walked to another one. Bathroom, perfect. Tommy wanted to see what he looked like. He knew he looked different than Ghostbur. He could see the cracks on his skin. They glowed and froze over, like flowing lava. But he couldn’t see his face. He turned on the lights in the room. For awhile he just looked at his hands. He was scared to look in the mirror. He took a breath and looked up. He was shocked. His face looked almost normal. The only thing, his eyes. They were red and orange, flowing like lava.

He jumped back.  _ What happened to my blue eyes????  _ He thought. He loved his blue eyes, but now they glowed like lava. He had large black lines down his face too. Those didn’t shock him all that much because he could feel his tears burning earlier. He expected something from that. But his eyes, he thought his eyes would have been normal. Or like how his eyes had been back in exile, pale but still slightly blue.

“Tommy?” A voice came out of the blue. Tommy jumped at the voice, but relaxed after he realized it was Tubbo. 

“I’m sorry, Tubbo. Did I wake you up?” Tommy asked. 

“No,” a yawn, “I usually wake up around now. President stuff ya know.” Tommy nodded. He didn’t get it, but he didn’t want Tubbo to go into a fuss about his presidency. Tubbo had had his eyes almost shut, but he had slowly opened them and looked at Tommy. 

“Oh shit!” Tubbo cried. 

“What’s wrong?” Tommy asked worried about Tubbo. 

“Your eyes… what happened? They were grayish blue yesterday,” Tubbo explained, “I mean your pupils were the same glowy red and orange, but now it’s your whole iris..” Tubbo babbled on. 

“Tubbo, hush, please. I can’t understand you when you talk a mile-a-minute,” Tommy explained. “I don’t know what happened to my eyes. I don’t even remember much of yesterday. I last remember hugging you, then it gets fuzzy.” 

“Oh,” Tubbo said lightly.  _ He doesn’t remember screaming,  _ Tubbo thought. He sighed. 

“It’s ok Tommy. Uh, today we’re going to Niki’s bakery. It’s become a little tradition since yo- since you died,” Tubbo sounded sad at the end. 

“I’m sorry Tubbo,” Tommy was honest. He had been through so much and he thought that dying would be his end and he would pass on into a new world. Of course nothing goes his way. But he was glad to be back. 

“It’s ok Tommy. Honestly, I’m happy, because now you can stay with us in L’Manburg!” Tubbo sounded hesitant, but also excited. “Let me get dressed, then we can head over to Niki’s. I mean, if you want to. I thought you might-” Tommy cut him off, “Tubbo, I would love to see everyone.” Tubbo smiles softly, Tommy returned his smile. Tommy walked over to the bed and sat down. Tubbo walked to the closet and shut the door after turning the lights on. A few minutes later, he walked out in a cute bee themed sweater and some jeans. He was wearing his usual shoes. Tommy smiled. The bee sweater was cute and he couldn’t help but tease Tubbo about it. 

“Nice sweater, Tub-bee,” he snickered at the goofy nickname. 

“Oh god,” an eye roll from Tubbo, “are you seriously gonna act like a 5 year old.” He chuckled. 

They laughed, then left to go to Niki’s. 

A few minutes later they were there. Somehow they hadn’t crossed paths with anyone on the way there. Tubbo was a little confused, since usually he would have seen almost all the residents of L’Manburg plus a few from surrounding areas. It wasn’t a weekend and usually people were building, or zooming around on their tridents. Sometimes you would see Dream chasing Puffy around, following her like a little duck. She looked terrified the first time it happened. 

Laughing at the thought, he opened the door for Tommy. He didn’t feel like Tommy should have to hide how he looks, even if the look of lava almost always made him think that the wood would catch on fire. Shockingly enough, Tommy was frigid. His skin felt like ice, even though it looked like it would burn to touch. 

He looked inside the shop. Everyone was inside. They were frozen in shock. Dream was there, George, Sapnap, Quackity, Fundy. Everyone who had been in any war, battle, or scuffle. Was there. Besides Techno and Phil, of course. They all looked at the door.  _ Well not the door, _ Tubbo thought, _ they’re looking at Tommy and I. Mostly Tommy though.  _ The whole shop had gone quiet. Of course Ranboo and Ghostbur knew Tommy was a ghost, but they were just plain shocked that Tubbo had gone to the shop. They thought he might have kept Tommy at home until they talked about how to tell everyone Tommy was less of Tommy Innit and more of Ghost Innit. They all stared at Tommy and Tubbo. 

“Ummm..” Tommy was the first to break the silence, “hi.” He wanted to punch Dream, but he figured that wouldn’t go very well. 

“What the fuck?” Quackity said. Not really asked, he just said it in such a confused but blatant tone. 

“Um,” Tubbo bit his lip, he didn’t really know this was gonna happen.

“I thought you were dead?” Niki said confused. 

“Well obviously, I am dead. Do you think I could be alive with my skin LITERALLY BEING CRACKED LIKE LAVA?!?” Tommy yelled the end. “I mean really, you think I would be alive? I jumped in lava and none of y’all expected me to come back?” His legs buckled under himself. He clutched his head. He started shaking. “My head hurts, Tubbo.”

**_You think your Mr. Everything don’t you? I bet you Dream had lovely ideas for you._ **

_ Shut up. _

**_No, I don’t think I will. Dream was right. He’s your only friend. Tubbo is faking it. Niki doesn’t care either. She couldn’t care less if you die or not. No one cares about you._ **

_ No, Tubbo cares about us. Why else would he take us back to his room. He even let us sleep in his bed. _

**_Hm. Valid point, but figure this. What if he was pretending? OoOh betcha didn’t think about that huh?_ **

“Shut up shut up shut up,” Tommy said, progressively getting louder. 

“Cover your ears,” Ghostbur warned, “he screamed before. This happened in the forest.” 

“What the hell do you mean “This happened in the forest”?” Dream asked. “What the hell happened to Tommy?”

Tommy’s arms dropped. His eyes blank. They were dull red, like cooled lava. He stood up. 

“Dream. You tormented me. You destroyed my home,” he walked closer to Dream, Dream backed away. He was scared shitless. “Dream. You broke me. My mind and heart are separated now. My mind speaks only your words. My heart speaks mine.” Dream looked around quickly. He was scared that Tommy would reveal how he treated Tommy. He was worried that he would lose his power. He had already done stuff and people didn’t like him as much as they used to. He was already on thin ice. 

“Dream,” Tommy was about a foot away from Dream. “You know what my mind says,” a sadistic smile, copying the one Dream gave him as he blew up the tent, “my mind says, “no one cares about you. Dream is your only friend. He’s the one who came to your party. He’s the one who cared about you.” And Dream, do you know what they do to liars?”

Dream couldn’t move. But he did speak, “I, I don’t care what they do to liars.” His voice wavered. 

“Hm, maybe you can live today,” Tommy replied. Then suddenly his eyes flashed a bright yellow. He dropped to the ground, the lines on his face glowed a bright red. He looked up. And screamed.


	14. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof. Rip everyone’s ears. Btw I imagine his scream to resemble those of a Banshee and not just a man yelling. No he is not a Banshee. No one else is gonna die, maybe, haven’t decided.  
> ____
> 
> A little thing! Dont send to ccs! Respect the fact that i personally dont want them seeing this, even if there arent any ships in here (other than platonic), i dont want them to feel awkward. Thank you!

They watched him scream, then collapse into a pile on the floor. 

_ Shit shit shit, that was not supposed to happen! _ Tubbo thought. He wanted to enjoy a nice breakfast with Tommy in the quiet bakery. Tubbo ran forward to Tommy.

“Tommy? Your going to be ok Tommy, I don’t know if you can hear me but you’re gonna be alright,” Tubbo had put his hand on Tommy’s shoulder and moved him so that his back was supported by Tubbo’s chest. 

“What the hell?” Dream was confused and angry. “Tubbo what the hell was _that_?” 

“I’m not sure,” Tubbo cried. He felt tears in his eyes. He didn’t know that would happen. Not only that, but Tommy’s words were confusing. He was confused. But Tommy had mentioned Dream tormenting him. That made him angry. He wanted to slap Dream. 

“What the hell did you do to Tommy, Dream?” He was angry now. He let his anger grow. He carefully put Tommy on the ground, and stood up and faced Dream. “Did you not hear me? What. The. Hell. Did. You. Do. To. Tommy.” He gritted his teeth together. 

Dream scoffed, “He’s gone insane, can’t you see? Or does your love for your dear brother blind you?” Dream said this with a mocking tone. 

“Dream I asked you a question. I asked you, what did you do to Tommy. You have yet to respond. I would like an answer. Because Tommy seemed like he had seen hell before he jumped. And I was gonna be nice. I was gonna wait till I was over his death and then ask you what happened in Logstedshire, but now. Now I want to rip your throat out. Now answer me before I actually kill you. What did you do to Tommy in Logstedshire?” Tubbo was done with Dream’s bullshit. Everyone was a little shocked with Tubbo’s words, but they were even more shocked by Dream’s response. 

“Tubbo, I’m not scared of you. I told Tommy the truth. No one cares about him. You carelessly threw him out and didn’t even visit him. I told him exactly what was happening,” Dream shrugged nonchalantly. 

“Dream, you have 5 minutes to leave L’Manburg before I kill you. You aren’t welcome back. If I see you again on L’Manburg soil I will not hesitate to kill you. I hope you die,” Tubbo was at his line. He had never wanted to exile anyone ever again after Tommy died. But now all he wanted to do was kill Dream. He knew he had about 5 minutes of sturdiness before he snapped. 

“You couldn’t kill me, you can barely touch me,” Dream scoffed again. This time it wasn’t Tubbo who spoke, but Sapnap.

“Dream, shut the hell up and leave,” Sapnap snapped. He told Dream this. “Dream I am sick and tired of you acting like you know what’s best for us all. I know what’s best for myself. Now shut the fuck up and leave. I don’t want to see you anymore. You manipulated a 16 year old child, who had been through multiple wars. You insulted L’Manburg’s president and was an asshole to him. I don’t want to be in any alliance with you. Now go before I join Tubbo.” 

Dream scoffed before he shoved past the others. Fundy looked after his ex-fiancé. He may have been left at the altar, but he still cared about Dream. People were a little shocked at Sapnap’s harsh words, but they did convey most of their emotions. 

“I am going to kill Dream,” Tubbo said quietly. 


	15. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some comedic relief for the beginning of this one.  
> ____
> 
> A little thing! Dont send to ccs! Respect the fact that i personally dont want them seeing this, even if there arent any ships in here (other than platonic), i dont want them to feel awkward. Thank you!

“I’m sorry, what?” Quackity asked. Apparently Tubbo didn’t say it quietly enough. 

“It's nothing Quackity. We’ll talk about this later. I need to talk to Philza. We need Technoblade,” Tubbo said. 

“Uh, I hate to repeat words, but uh, WHAT?” Fundy said. 

“Look, standing in front of the entirety of the SMP people and talking about government matters doesn't sound the best to me,” Ranboo said quietly. 

“Ranboo’s right. Sorry guys. We’ll be out of your hair in a minute,” Tubbo said. His stomach grumbled. Tubbo looked down. “Um, I did come for breakfast however… Can I have a croissant please Niki?” 

“Sure,” Niki said laughing. The entire group let out a light chuckle. She handed him a croissant. 

“Ranboo, I hate to make you do all the heavy lifting, but uh, could you take Tommy to my room again? He's just been kinda lying on the ground for the past five minutes,” Tubbo said with an awkward smile. 

“It's fine tubbo,” Ranboo replied with an equally awkward smile. “I'll be back in a bit, unless you want to meet somewhere else.”

“Actually, if you could meet us at Phil’s that would be nice. You know where it is right?” Taboo asked. 

“I have absolutely no idea,” Ranboo said brightly, with a goofy and confused smile on his face. 

“Um well, hmm, I'm not-” Bad cut Tubbo off, “I'll take him. I know where they are.” 

“Oh thank god! Thank you Bad! I'll help you at some point with something over in the Badlands if you need anything!” Tubbo replied gratefully. 

“It's fine Tubbo, I don't mind helping,” Bad said with a sweet smile. Ranboo teleported out with Tommy on his back, piggieback style. Tommy was a little too tall for Ranboo’s princess carry that he usually did. Tubbo grabbed Fundy, Quackity, and Ghostbur. Ghostbur knew where they were and Tubbo knew the general direction. Then they set out for Technoblade and Philza’s house. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am so tired omfg. Im still writing chapter 15, that'll probably be out later today. Im posting these rapid fire because i probably wont post for a while while i write the rest. I also have no idea how long this story is going to be, so if it ends up being super long oops. was meant to be like 20 chapters, might end up at like 30 chapters :P


	16. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tommyyyyyyyy!!! This is some fluff. Essentially a flashback/dream he’s having. I need some fluff.  
> ____
> 
> A little thing! Dont send to ccs! Respect the fact that i personally dont want them seeing this, even if there arent any ships in here (other than platonic), i dont want them to feel awkward. Thank you!

Tommy’s head felt fuzzy. He slowly opened his eyes and blinked at the harsh light.  _ Where am I?  _ He asked in his head. He wandered around for a while. The forest he woke up in was bright and pretty. He had a nagging feeling that it was familiar. Slowly he came to a break in the trees. A big field, with tall and multicolored flowers. Some flowers were pink and small, others were tall and while. Some had large beautiful petals, and others had small bunches of flowers. It was beautiful.

“Tommy!” A small, familiar voice called. Tommy turned and looked at a young Tubbo. 

“Tubbo?” He called in return. 

“Tommy! C'mon! Let’s go see the bees!” Tubbo yelled, waving at Tommy. Tommy was a little more than confused.  _ Wasn’t I just dead _ , he thought.  _ It doesn't matter anyways. I'm here with Tubbo, might as well enjoy it.  _

Tommy took a minute to catch up with Tubbo and take in his surroundings. Tubbo was wearing a cute jumper with yellow and light brown stripes. It had an embroidered bee on it. His pants were overalls, with little embroidered flowers on the front pocket. 

“Toooommmmmmmmyyyy,” Tubbo whined, “C'mon you're gonna miss the bees!”

Tommy laughed then replied, “I’m sure the bees won't go anywhere Tubster!”

“ _ Meh, meh meh _ ,” Tubbo replied with a mocking tone. He was smiling though. 

Eventually they made it to another clearing. There was a small cottage here though. And a small pond. Tommy looked hesitantly in the pond. He was worried his reflection would scare him, but as he took a look his face was completely normal. There were no cracks on his face. No red in his eyes. His face was normal. Though he did look about 5 years younger than he remembered. 

“Tommy, oh my goodness, stop being a narcissistic prick and come on!” Tubbo complained in a goofy manner. Tommy forgot how much he missed these good old times. Before the wars, before the stupid battles. Tommy wished that this was the end. He wished this was his heaven that he had been sent to. But he knows, somewhere deep in his heart and mind, that this is only temporary and soon he will wake up in the nightmare that his afterlife is. 

He shook his head.  _ Now is not the time for bad thoughts! Let’s focus on good things, _ Tommy thought. 

“Mornin Toms,” a new voice said. Tommy flicked around to see who.  _ Oh, it's just Dadza,  _ Tommy thought. Tommy loved calling Philza Dadza. It was goofy and kinda something special to their little quirky family. 

“Tommy why are you looking in the pond?” Another voice asked. This time he spotted Wilbur with his son, Fundy. Fundy was a little older than them, only two years. 

Tommy was the last born in their weird little family. Wilbur and Techno were already 20 years old when Tommy was born. Don't ask about Philza’s age, he will smite you. As far as they knew, Philza could live forever. But they knew he only had one life, unlike everyone else who had three. Once he died that one time he would be gone forever.

Philza had adopted Tubbo when Tommy was about six. At first, Tommy was wary of the guy. He was some random kid they found on the side of the road on a trip back from the Hypixel kingdom. But eventually, after about a year and a half, Tommy opened his arms to Tubbo. 

His dream was probably from when he was about 10, a year or so before Dadza told Tubbo how he was adopted. 

“Tommy! Oh my god! Do your ears work?” Tubbo was stood in front of Tommy, about a foot away. Tommy jumped at the sudden intrusion. 

“Wh- Tubbo! You can't just get in my face!” Tommy cried. Wilbur and Philza were laughing. Then a loud bang resonated from the house. 

“Techno! What the hell? Don't slam doors young man!” Philza scolded him. 

“Halloooooo,” Techno called.

“Tech! What did I say?” Philza yelled, then he whispered to himself, “And I thought you were the good kid.”

“Sorry Phil!” Techno yelled back. They were less than 30 feet apart. 

“Why are you yelling dipshit?” Tommy remarked. 

Tubbo stood amused by his adoptive brothers, though he was getting impatient from the ways that they kept bickering and all he wanted to do was go check out the bees. They needed to collect the honey from the bins. 

“C’mon Toms! Let's get the honey then we can make some biscuits and eat them with the honey!” Tubbo was trying his hardest to get his best friend, and adoptive brother, to go with him. 

“Fine, fine lets go Tubs,” Tommy replied, rolling his eyes. He got a smack upside the head for that.  _ Worth it, _ Tommy thought. 

As they walked past the house to the bee area, they passed more fields of flowers. The flowers were beautiful. Tommy stood still for a moment in the field. Tubbo had run off only a few yards to collect the honey. Somehow he never got stung by the bees, they left him alone. 

Tommy plopped down onto the ground. There was a small patch of clover and he lied down in the soft feeling.  _ Let me hold onto this for a little while longer _ , he said in his head. 

Suddenly a light “omph” came from his left. He looked over and saw Tubbo lying on the ground next to him, smiling up at the sky.  _ I wish things could stay this way forever _ , Tommy thought. He knew it was only a matter of five years before everything changed, but he could still wish. Right?

“Tommy,” Tubbo started.

“Tubbo?” Tommy replied.

“I want to stay here forever. I want to say in this flower field, with the bees, with Techno and Wil being close by. With Dadza being right past the brook. Wilbur is finally getting L’Manburg up and running. Still can’t believe that it was a drug van at first, my goodness. Plus Fundy is fun to hang around. His fox tail is surprisingly fuzzy!” Tubbo rambled on, “Anyways. I really do want to live here forever. But I only want to live here if you'll live with me. I don't think I could ever be away from you for more than a week!” Tubbo said laughing. Tommy chimed in with his own laughter, but felt tinges of bitterness creep into his thoughts and feelings. 

“I would love to live here with you Tubbo,” Tommy said honestly, but there was a hesitant and awkward tone left in his voice, “Tubbo… What if we moved to L’Manburg? We could still be here, just more like a vacation thing. We live in L’Manburg, but we visit here for summers or winters. Or even just when we need a break from a city!”

“I like your idea,” tubbo said with a fond smile, looking over to Tommy. He giggled when a butterfly landed on Tommy’s hair. 

“Wait! Tommy! Don't move,” Tubbo said, reaching over to get the butterfly.

“What, is there something in my hair?” Tommy nearly shrilled. Tubbo had to stifle his laughter. 

“It's just a butterfly you wuss,” Tubbo said giggling. He reached out and grabbed the butterfly gently, sat up, then opened his hand. The butterfly flew away. Tommy pouted. 

“Stupid butterfly. Hmph. I wasn't scared of it,” Tommy said defensively. 

“Sure, sure,” Tubbo said with a small giggle. 

They lied back down. 

“I wish we could stay here forever,” Tommy said.

“Me too,” Tubbo replied. 

Tommy shut his eyes, and everything went black.  _ Back to the real world I guess.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tommy and Tubbo are 16 in this AU.  
> Fundy is 18.  
> Wilbur and Techno are 37.  
> Don't ask Philza's age, he will smite you.  
> yes i did age Wilbur and techno up, because how tf does one start a country, have a child, and that child ends up being older than your sibling. Also the wars and other shit are spread out, so its not like the whole country has been a thing for a few months. Its been years. I would probably say the drug van started existing when Wil was 17, he had fundy at 19, then the country has continued to exist since then.  
> i just did the math.  
> its like a 20 year old country... WTF


	17. A note from Mi

Hello! Im going to put this story on pause right now! I really want to improve my writing skills and I want to get to know AO3 better! 

___

A little side note, this story will be published on Wattpad by a really good friend of mine, so dont worry if you see it there! 

___

Thank you so much!! See you soon!


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